So trying.

Thing 3 is by far the hardest toddler I have ever come across. And believe me, I've met my fair share. A friend's boy was a tough little bugger, but this one... this one takes the cake.

Thing 3 still bed-shares with us. She has slept in our bed since she was born. It's my fault really. She got so sick when she was just a couple weeks old. A nasty cold. Grandma caught one at the same time. So I held her while she had that cold because she'd cough so hard, and it scared me. See, Thing 3 is my rainbow baby. I lost a baby, and a few months later, I conceived Thing 3. I made sure to do everything "right" for her pregnancy, right down to staying away from lunch meat. So when she caught that cold, I knew that her being next to me would help keep her breathing. (just something I read about SIDS a while ago...)

Then, I got used to holding her, in that recliner. And breastfeeding her there. And Mister was deployed at the time, so it was easier to sleep out there to keep Thing 1 in check in the mornings. As it was, I still ended up with Kool Aid packets dumped on the floor. But I did the best I could under the circumstances.

So, when Mister came home, it was natural to move Thing 3 into the bed with us. I also have a fear of letting babies CIO now. I used to do it with Thing 1... but now that he has ADHD, I was scared that I did something wrong with him, so I changed things up a bit with Thing 2 and Thing 3.

Now, Thing 3 won't get out of our bed. It's ok, but when I'm cold, I want the blankets on me, not kicked off because she's mad she has to go to sleep.

She writes on the walls, constantly. We take things away from her, put them up high, she climbs to get them down. One day I fear she's going to fall off the counter and crack her noggin. She moves the kitchen chairs to get what she wants. This girl could open those child proof door knobs at the age of 2. At 2.5 she could open the fridge (appliance) locks. She's super smart. We had to put a door chain, way up on the door, because she could use a dead bolt and would let herself outside. If she's not writing on walls, she's writing on herself. If she's not writing on herself, it's on the TV. Or the chair. Or the couch.

I have tried all forms of discipline with her. From time outs to making her clean up her messes, to you name it. No, the child is not beat. I have tried positive reinforcement. But with her, you give her an inch and she takes a mile. You push her, she pushes back (not in the physical sense).

So, tonight, I am snuggling under my favorite acrylic, warm toasty blanket, downstairs on my chair, and Mister is upstairs trying to get Thing 3 to sleep. He was in our bed, then took her to her bed, then back to ours, then back to hers.... at this point, I'm not sure where they are. But I do know that after typing all this, my blood pressure has gone down and I may just be able to go to bed without feeling animosity towards my toddler.

I mean, what kind of mother am I for feeling this way? I know, it tends to be normal when you have a high spirited child. But it doesn't make me feel less guilty.